Corona Daily 116: Haredi Jews: Out for Change (Yotzim)

21 year old Racheli Ohayon worked in a Jerusalem phone center. She was raised in an ultra-orthodox household. Even at work, she wore the most conservative black dress, and strictly observed the religious directives, no matter how stifling. With the onset of the pandemic, she was off work, crammed in the house with seven siblings. She had a lot of time to think. With what was happening around her, she realized rabbis were no doctors. In a few weeks, she took a decision, the most shocking in the Haredi community, to quit the community and go out in search of a secular lifestyle.

Racheli had attended an ultra-orthodox girls’ school where the only history taught was Jewish history. Her school had computers, but they were not linked to the internet. Chief Rabbis had prohibited it. She had never seen a movie, and never worn a pair of jeans. For the first time, she bought a smartphone and started browsing Google and listening to music on YouTube. She joined the local library in Petah Tikva and started reading secular literature, novels which were off-limits for her. Earlier, Racheli had thought Haredim were special and different people. She found out she was not different. She feels her decision to leave was absolutely right.

*****

In the Haredi community, marriages are arranged. Dedi Rotenberg and his wife Divan had one such marriage. They soon realized both felt this particular type of religion was suffocating them. In 2020, they took the decision to move out of Bnei Brak for a secular life in the south of Israel. Dedi said it took him many months to adapt to his new friends and neighbours. Their slang, the subject matter were different. For a few weeks, he had no idea what people were talking about, though they shared a common language.

*****

They are called Yotzim (those who leave). In the ultra-orthodox community, there is no question of being able to stay at your home after giving up the orthodoxy. In extreme cases, parents of those who leave sit shiva, meaning observe the traditional mourning as if their children were dead.

Many leavers don’t wish to abandon Judaism, but are seeking individualism, and freedom to make their own choices in life. But leaving their family, community and lacking any secular education, they are not equipped to adapt to the new world. As mentioned yesterday, Haredi boys are not taught math, science or English. Many of them study Torah full time and rely on government aid. Most Haredi women work in low-grade jobs to support their families. They are responsible for raising the large number of children as well.

*****

There are two major organizations in Israel that take care of the leavers: Hillel and Out for Change.

Hillel empowers the leavers to build meaningful self-determined lives. Their dedicated staff provides full assistance during the first critical 3-5 years in the transition period. They  offer hotline and drop-in services, counselling and treatment, transitional housing, housing subsidies, education and employment help, free legal aid, emergency shelter, care for single parents and children.

During the pandemic, Hillel noted a 50% increase in the number of leavers. Experts attribute the increase to a breakdown of supervision and routine, disillusionment with the community leaders, a rise in internet use, and more time for questioning and self-discovery.

Out for Change offered leavers the option of formal registration, so as to legalise their status with the authorities. The labor and social affairs ministry recently began defining ex-haredim as a special category eligible to receive vouchers for special vocational training courses. During the pandemic, though traumatized by the break-up from the family, more than 1300 leavers signed up.

This was something that the rabbis had feared. This was one of the reasons why they were insistent on keeping the religious schools open no matter what. A leading rabbi said boredom leads to sin and puts girls in severe spiritual danger.

*****

Under a different name, and different religion, each country has such communities whose decrepit old male leaders trap its members into extreme orthodoxy. Israeli organisations such as Hillel and Out for Change are good role models that show how to bring those people back into civilization.

Ravi