Deepika Padukone and Narendra Modi

Narendra Modi, India’s Prime Minister, and his party BJP (Bharatiya Janata Party) won a handsome mandate and another term of five years. The party and the Prime Minister have been branded as nationalist, and their religious overtures criticized. The Modi/BJP critics miss an important point.

The science of marketing talks about ‘product’ and ‘brand’ as two different concepts. The product offers sensory benefits to the consumer, but not an emotional appeal. We wouldn’t enjoy Colgate in the morning, or be proud of the i-phone in the pocket, if those products were nameless and without massive advertising/marketing support. A company’s brand management analyses and segments the market, identifies the target consumers, and devises brand muscles to appeal emotionally to each segment.

Politics is no exception. Each political party wants to maximize its market share. BJP did a competent market analysis and identified Hindutva (Hinduness) as a brand muscle. It’s not a product feature, but an emotional brand appeal. Kodak used nostalgia to bond with the consumers (Kodak moment) and could charge 20% more than Fuji, an identical film. I don’t think Advani, Modi, or Thackeray gave a damn as to whether a temple existed earlier in place of Babri. But in the BJP marketing campaign, the use of ‘Babri moment’ raised its brand appeal dramatically. गर्व से कहो हम हिंदू है (“Say with pride I am a Hindu”) or मंदिर वही बनायेंगे (“That’s the place where temple will be built” – meaning at the place of the Babri Mosque) were excellent copy-lines developed by copywriters unknown to us. (That some brand custodians went ahead and destroyed the Babri Masjid was a step too far, as far as marketing campaigns are concerned. It’s as bad as Pepsi management putting cockroaches in Coke bottles.)

The same marketing science tells us that brands can’t succeed or sustain their success unless the product is great. Remember Tata Nano? It had everything going great for it. Promised to be the cheapest car in the world, it had the Tata name prefixed to it. Ten years ago, it received worldwide publicity, with an upscale Nano at the Geneva motor show. Where is Nano today? Extinct. Because the concept was great, but the product performance was lousy. It didn’t meet the consumer expectations. In Politics, I would compare Nano to Aam Aadmi Party, great concept, horrible performance.

Which brings me to the Indian voters and product benefits. In the twenty-first century, the Indian voter has reached a level of maturity, where she looks first and foremost for product benefits. How will voting for a particular party improve her family’s well-being? In the case of the Loksabha elections, which party will offer better governance, growth and development prospects for improving her life?

 Saffron flags, Cow vigilantism, Sadhvi Pragya are the marketing tools based on the Hindutva muscle. Similarly, Balakot or a 56-inch test is the ‘strong leadership’ brand muscle. For each muscle, marketing plans and activities are developed to emotionally appeal to different segments of the market.

Once strategy and plans are ready, Narendra Modi, BJP’s biggest Brand Ambassador has to keep to his script and photo-shoots. Modi meditating at the Kedarnath temple was simply a brand endorsement. When we see on the giant hoardings Deepika Padukone drinking Coke or Nescafe, flying in Vistara, eating Britannia biscuits, taking selfies on Oppo, using Axis bank to store her money; do we really think she is the consumer of all these products? Of course not. We know Deepika has lent her image for monetary gains, she doesn’t have to consume any of the brands she is endorsing. Similarly Modi in Kedarnath temple is simply an ad based on the Hindutva muscle of the marketing campaign, nothing more. I don’t agree with people who think this is a sincere Hindu practice. No spiritual person needs to exhibit his spirituality in front of television cameras.

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Congress understood this Hindutva muscle and tried to hurriedly include it in their campaign. Shashi Tharoor published a manifesto book “Why I am a Hindu” (and perhaps thinks that’s the reason he is elected). Gandhi family visited a variety of temples, even Robert Vadra did.

Rahul Gandhi’s marketing advisors came up with a Sholay-like copyline of their own: “ab hoga Nyay”- a scheme whereby 25 crore poor Indians would receive Rs 72,000 per annum from the government. Why did the scheme fail?

Bisleri can explain why. We are willing to pay Rs 20 for a bottle of drinking water because we trust that the bottle contains some sort of processed water, that it is clean and good for our health. This trust is in our mind, based on the consistent hard work done by the Parle group in keeping the Bisleri quality standards high. Another bottle may be offered to us for Rs 10. We would suspiciously assume it to be tap water and not buy it.

The same thing happened with Nyay. Voters had no trust in that product or in the corporation offering it. (My comment after reading the Nyay document: आमचा पप्पू काय करी, असलेलं न्याय करी).

(It is only a coincidence that Bisleri water, like Rahul Gandhi has some Italian bloodline. Fifty years ago, an Italian entrepreneur, Signor Felice Bisleri developed it.)

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In politics, like in food, you have national brands (biryani) or local brands (sabudana khichadi). It’s not easy to turn local brands into national brands. Shiv Sena or DMK are unlikely to become national brands.

On the other hand, marketing history shows that national brands rarely become local, they simply die. The choice for Congress is to revive itself as a national brand, or die. It can’t continue as a Punjab-Kerala party.

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This is where the Modi/BJP critics are wrong in my opinion. They are focusing on the wrong things, wasting their time.

Religion is becoming less and less relevant. The young generation from all religions are worried more about their economic wellbeing. Just like at RSS shakhas, the proportion of young Muslims going to mosques is getting smaller. Only this week, I spoke to two Muslims (an Amazon courier boy and a housekeeper in my gym) who were not observing the Ramadan fast. “I am working the whole day. How can I fast?” They said. Earlier, religion offered a sense of community. For the young, community is now offered by whatsApp groups.

My hypothesis is that Congress or BJP don’t make any real substantial difference to Muslims or other minorities. Congress uses the fear of majoritarianism and BJP uses minoritarianism for political gains, that’s the only difference. (The 200 million Muslims in India is the largest minority in the world).

If Hindutva was such a strong product, why did BJP surrender power from 2004 to 2014? Atalbihari Vajpayee was a true statesman, also with roots in RSS. Vajpayee conducted the Pokhran-II tests, and declared India as a full-fledged nuclear power. On his watch, India celebrated victory in the Kargil war. Why did Hindutva and nuclear power fail to bring him back? Because India wasn’t economically shining except at the top. Voters were focused on their own wellbeing and rightly punished the party in power.

More recently, in 2015, the Delhi voters gave 67/70 seats to the Aam Aadmi party, ignoring BJP (ruling municipality) and Congress (assembly). The Indian voters are willing to try new brands. The brands need to prove their competence, offer competitive products, and also offer good after-sales-service during the five years of warranty.

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Based on my analysis, BJP won because it offered a superior product in terms of growth, development, and economic governance. Little to do with Hindutva. Even voters disappointed in Modi/BJP felt they could trust them more than the opposition.

In 1992, Bill Clinton’s advisors had successfully used the phrase “it’s the economy, stupid” to unseat President senior Bush. In most Indian elections, politicians from all parties would do well to remember this phrase.

If Congress wishes to bounce back, it needs to focus on offering a competitive product. It is a declining/dying brand because the product in its present form is inferior.

Communism died not because capitalism was advertising itself better. On the contrary, the Communist propaganda was fairly strong. Communism died because people suffered under it. An awful product with a rich propaganda machine couldn’t survive.

BJP critics focusing on Hindutva make the same mistake. If economy collapses, Hindutva won’t save Modi or BJP. But when it happens, if the opposition is not ready with a competitive product, the voter will reluctantly consume the BJP product once again. After all, if the market has only fiat and ambassador, you can’t buy anything else.

Ravi

World War III begins in earnest

When a country (USA) is losing many billions of dollars on trade with virtually every country it does business with, trade wars are good, and easy to win. Example, when we are down $100 billion with a certain country and they get cute, don’t trade anymore-we win big. It’s easy. –a Trump tweet, 2 March, 2018. 

When voters with no knowledge of economics elect a ruler equally ignorant in economics, they dig their own grave. It is all right for them to not know philosophy, theology or zoology. But economics? Economics shapes our daily life. Economists playing politics are bad enough, but politicians playing economics cause disasters.

Donald Trump started a trade war with China last year, and accelerated it this month. USA imports a lot more from China than China imports from the USA. Economists will tell you there is nothing intrinsically wrong with this, but the deficit gives Trump an inferiority complex. The solution, conceived by his infantile mind, is to impose import duties. On 10 May, he raised import duties to 25% on $200 billion worth of products imported from China. Mathematically, the US government will collect $50 billion (25% of $200 billion) in duties. Where does this money come from? 

Trump won’t admit it, but the money comes from Americans. American importers and American consumers pay the duties, not the Chinese. Since the start of the tariff war, washing machines have become 12% more expensive. All steel products have become 9% dearer. So far, the American consumers have paid $5.6 billion to the Trump coffers. Why can’t the Chinese share the burden? Let’s look at the i-phone caste-study to find the answer.

I-phone

The components of the i-phone are sourced from different parts of the world. The final assembly takes place in China. Technically, when the final product is shipped from China to the USA, it will be a ‘made in China’ product, and in future Trump may charge 25% duties on it. (Not yet). 

Now look at the slide giving the cost break-up of the i-phone. Nearly 30% of the cost is incurred in the USA and 30% in Japan. China contributes only $8.50 out of the $240 cost of the i-phone 7. (Don’t get shocked at the margins Apple takes, you may have paid $1000 for the same phone). If Trump were to charge 25% on the $240 i-phone from China, the importer will pay $60 at the USA customs. China, providing only the battery and labour for assembly, is in no position to pay anything more. Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO has already clarified that in such a situation Apple will need to move production out of China. Why not move it back to America? That is what Trump wants anyway.

Global supply chains

Let me offer another example of a global supply chain I am more familiar with. Russia has large reserves of diamonds. Yakutia, a Russian republic, produces 99% of the Russian diamonds and 25% of the world diamonds. The raw diamonds from Yakutia are transported to Moscow, 8000 km away. At a monthly auction in Moscow, those uncut diamonds are bought by Indian businessmen from Surat. The auctions have been conducted uninterrupted under Stalin, Brezhnev, Gorbachev, Yeltsin and Putin.  (Diamonds last longer than any political ideology).

After the auction, the diamonds travel another 6000 km to Surat, a city in central India. For the past seventy years, Surat is the world’s largest center for cutting and polishing diamonds. 80% of the world’s diamonds are polished here. Some Surat factories have more than 30,000 workers. It is not uncommon to find three generations from a family devoting their career to diamond polishing.

The polished diamonds, the smooth gems, now travel another 8000 km to Antwerp, Belgium. The gems you see on New York’s Fifth Avenue have further travelled 8000 km from Belgium. In short, the Yakutia-Moscow-Surat-Antwerp-New York journey covers 30,000 km and four countries. Can the process be made more efficient?

The cost of labour in Surat, despite the singular expertise of the diamond polishers, is fairly low. It is unlikely any other country will be able to match it. But more important is the expertise accumulated over seventy years. Moscow auctions, Surat polishing, and Antwerp distribution are functions in which the respective geographies have specialized. They have built the necessary infrastructure and staff. Politicians - nationalists and populists – want to build walls, break unions and bring back jobs, but they forget supply chains are no longer local. They are global and complex, with each place playing a specialized role.  

It’s the same with China. China has specialized as a manufacturing hub for the world. USA, in the last 20 years, has lost one third of its production capacity, shut 90,000 factories, and got rid of 5 million manufacturing jobs. It is estimated that all existing tools and die-makers in the USA can be collected in a small room, whereas in China they will require hundreds of football fields.

USA can’t match the Chinese costs. Foxconn is Apple’s partner in China. At the Foxconn factory, there are regular reports of workers committing suicide due to low wages. Even if costs are ignored, there isn’t enough expertise in the USA to replace the Chinese production.

Stealing intellectual property

Trump also accuses China of stealing America’s intellectual property. The daylight robbery has been going on for three decades.

This is a legitimate grievance. However, much of this stealing happens contractually. Chinese legislation demands technology transfers or obligatory joint ventures for foreign partners. If the USA benefits from cheap Chinese labour and mass production, that is a price it has to pay. In any case, the Chinese engineers are intelligent enough to discover what others invent through reverse engineering.

I am writing these words on my Dell laptop with Microsoft office installed and Google as a screensaver. I communicate with friends and foes through gmail and facebook, order things on amazon, run in Nike shoes, shave with Gillette, book Uber on i-phone, wear Gap jeans, drink chilled water from a Whirlpool fridge and bank with CITIBANK. In what way is the American intellectual property damaged? And if counterfeiting by Chinese is as rampant as claimed by the Americans, how have the earnings and profits of the top American companies risen consistently?

War is a two-way process

In any war, the attacked side needs to retaliate. Because it also has its dignity. China has launched import duties on American products. The Chinese have to scratch their heads because they have such a massive trade surplus, there aren’t enough American goods to tariff. As part of its retaliation, China stopped buying Soybeans from the USA. The American farmers, most of them Trump voters, were shocked. China must be punished through heavy import duties, but how can they stop buying soybean from us? The angered farmers have lobbied Trump, and Trump has now promised to pay $ 12 billion to them. In effect, the American consumers will pay $ 12 billion to the American farmers. This is what happens when protectionism triumphs over market economy.  

China is not bound by market economy, or fluctuating currency or human rights. The American-Chinese trade war is, therefore, uneven to start with. Trump’s protectionism has repercussions everywhere in the world. The stock markets react with sharp falls. Like in any major war, Trump expects allies to dance to his tune. All US allies must now ban Huawei because the USA considers it dangerous for its security. And if they don’t, suitable punishment will be prescribed for them.

The Third World War has started. Those not conversant with economics will think the WW comparison exaggerated, until it pinches their personal finances in a big way.

Jews and Chinese

Surprisingly, there is little difference in what Hitler said before the Second World War, and what Trump is saying now.

Hitler: “The Jews have shown real genius by profiting from politics…. Once I really am in power, my first and foremost task will be the annihilation of the Jews.”

Trump: “We can’t continue to allow China to rape out country, and that’s what they’re doing. It’s the greatest theft in the history of the world.” “… There will be nobody left in China to do business with. Very bad for China, very good for the USA! But China has taken so advantage of the U.S. for so many years, that they are way ahead….” Trump Tweet, 13 May, 2019.

Trump is ignorant not only of economics, but also demographics. Hitler had only 18 million Jews to deal with. China’s population is 1.4 billion.

If this Third World War is allowed to continue, it will inflict severe damage on everyone in the world. There won’t be any winners. But Trump, like Hitler, will go down as the War’s most infamous casualty.

Ravi

लग्नाचं आमंत्रण

त्याचं नाव ‘महेश कुलकर्णी’ हे लग्नपत्रिकेवर वाचलं तेव्हा मला कळलं. जेव्हा आम्ही जिममध्ये पहिल्यांदी बोललो तेव्हा मला वाटतं आम्ही एकमेकांना आपापली नावं सांगितली होती. पण जिममध्ये काय तो सकाळचा एक तास काढणार. माझ्याच वेळेला नियमित येणारे चेहरे बरेच असतात. काही स्मित करतात, नंतर रेस्टरूममध्ये गप्पाही होतात. पण सहसा नाव विचारायची कुणाला गरज वाटत नाही. आणि वय वाढतं तसं नावं लक्षात ठेवणं हा स्मरणशक्तीला मोठाच व्यायाम असतो - जिमच्या उपकरणांवर करता न येणारा. 

  

“माझ्या मुलीचं लग्न आहे. तुला पण एक मुलगी आहे ना” महेश म्हणाला. “तू, बायको, आणि मुलगी सगळ्यांनी यायचंच हं.” त्या पत्रिकेवर श्री व सौ आणि पुढे माझं नाव छापलेलं होतं. पत्रिका दोनशे पानांच्या कादंबरीएवढी जाड होती. वर गणपती तर होताच, पण एक रिबन बांधलेली होती. आम्ही जिमच्या बाहेर रस्त्यावर उभे होतो. महेश अतिशय प्रेमाने हसला. मी काही तिथे रिबन सोडली नाही, मात्र पत्रिकेच्या वेष्टनावर जिथे लग्न होतं त्या पंचतारांकित हॉटेलचा पत्ता स्पष्ट दिसत होता.

जिमपासून माझं घर दीड किलोमीटरवर आहे. ते अंतर चालताना मी फोन करतो नाहीतर विचार करतो. महेशचा निरोप घेऊन घरी चालायला निघालो तेव्हा मी विचार करायला लागलो. कधीकधी आपल्या नकळत नवे मित्र मिळत असतात. कुणाशी आपल्या वेव्हलेंग्थ जुळतील ह्याला काही गणित नाही. महेशला मी दीडदोन वर्षं बघत होतो, क्वचित बोलत होतो, प्रसंगी हसत होतो, पण आपल्या मुलीच्या लग्नाला मला बोलावण्याएवढी जवळीक त्याच्या मनात होती. निव्वळ एवढंच नाही, तर माझ्या कुटुंबाला बोलवून त्याने मैत्रीचा हात पुढे केला होता. मला भरून आलं. हल्लीच आमच्या एका ओळखीच्याने मुलाच्या लग्नाला स्वतःच्या भावाला आणि विधवा आईला बोलावलं नाही हे माझ्या कानावर आलं होतं. त्यांचं पटायचं नाही म्हणून. आणि इथे केवळ जिमच्या तुटपुंज्या ओळखीवर महेशने माझ्या कुटुंबाला पंचतारांकित हॉटेलमध्ये यायचं आमंत्रण दिलं होतं.  

मी घरी गेल्यावर बायकोला पत्रिका दाखवली. जिममधल्या मित्राने मुलीच्या लग्नाला आपल्या सगळ्यांना बोलावलं आहे, ताजमध्ये, मी म्हणालो.

आधी कधी ह्या मित्राचं नाव ऐकलं नव्हतं, बायको म्हणाली.

महेश चांगला माणूस आहे, प्रेमाने बोलावलंय. मी कधी त्याच्या मुलीला भेटलो नाहीये, पण लग्नात त्याच्या कुटुंबाशी आपली भेट होईलच, मी म्हणालो. महेशशी ह्यापूर्वी नुसती ओळख असली तरी भविष्यात चांगली मैत्री होईल ह्याची मला खात्री होती.

एवढ्या पंचतारांकित हॉटेलात बोलावलंय तर मग महेशच्या कुटुंबाला काहीतरी भेट द्यावी असा विचार माझ्या डोक्यात आला. खरं म्हणजे ‘आपली उपस्थिती हाच आमचा आहेर’ अशी ओळ पत्रिकेत होती. पण महेशने एवढ्या अगत्याने आम्हाला तिघांना बोलावलं होतं, ह्या हॉटेलांत जेवणाच्या किंमती काय असतात ह्याची मला कल्पना होती.  

आमच्या घराजवळ एक सिरॅमिक पॉटरीचा कारखाना आहे असं बायकोच्या कानावर आलं होतं. तिला अनेक दिवस तिकडे जायचं होतं. आपण जाऊ, आणि तुझ्या मित्राच्या मुलीच्या लग्नासाठी काहीतरी भेट घेऊ, ती म्हणाली.

सिरॅमिक पॉटरी खरोखरच सुंदर निघाली. हा कारखाना नसून एक कलावंत बाई स्वतः भट्टीत वेगवेगळे सेट बनवत होती. ही हस्तकला असल्यामुळे बनवलेली प्रत्येक वस्तू वेगळी होती- जगात एकमेव. अर्थात त्यामुळे किंमतीही मजबूत होत्या.

‘ही प्लेट सुंदर आहे, मोठी आहे, फळं ठेवता येतील.” बायकोने सुचवलं. मी प्लेट उलटी करून पाठचा स्टिकर बघितला.  

“सहा हजार रुपये किंमत आहे.” मी म्हणालो.

“आता ताजमध्ये लग्न म्हणजे चांगली भेट द्यायला पाहिजे. छान आहे, आवडेल तुझ्या मित्राला, आणि त्याच्या मुलीला उपयोगी होईल.”

ती पॉटरीची मालकीण क्रेडीट कार्ड घेत नसती तर कदाचित मी ती खरेदी रद्द करू शकलो असतो. पण तिने कार्ड घेतलं. चांगल्या पॅकिंगचे आणखी दोनशे रुपये भरायला लागले.

दुसऱ्या दिवशी कामाला सुट्टी होती.

‘मला लग्नाला घालायला शर्ट नाहीये.’ मी बायकोला म्हणालो. तसं म्हटल्यास कपाटात वीस-पंचवीस शर्ट आहेत, पण त्यातले पंधराहून जास्त मला आवडत नाहीत, त्यामुळे मी ते कधी घालत नाही. एक-दोन बरे शर्ट आहेत पण त्यांना शोभतील अश्या पँट नाहीयेत. आणि जे शर्ट मी वारंवार घालतो ते आता जुनाट दिसायला लागले आहेत- ताजमध्ये नक्कीच शोभणार नाहीत.

मग आम्ही तिघे फिनिक्स मिलला गेलो. एकदा दुकानात गेल्यावर संयम राहत नाही. म्हणून मी माझ्या बायकोची आणि मुलीची प्रत्येक खरेदीला परवानगी घेतो. बायकोने आग्रह केला म्हणून एकाऐवजी तीन शर्ट घेतले.

‘आपण का इथे नेहमी येतो, आलोच आहोत तर घेऊन टाक.’  

मग मला अपराधी वाटायला लागलं. खरेदी हा बायकांचा व्यवसाय. मी बायको-मुलीला घेऊन आलो, आणि शर्ट मात्र मला घेतले. हे अगदीच चूक होतं. मग पुढचे दोन तास बायको आणि मुलीने खरेदी केली. मी काही बायकांच्या सेक्शनमध्ये जात नाही. तिथे ब्रेसियर वगैरे लटकत असतात, मला संकोच वाटतो.

सगळी खरेदी संपल्यावर, एवीतेवी फिनिक्स मॉलला आलोच होतो, म्हणून आम्ही इंडिगोमध्ये जेवायला गेलो. इंडिगो तसं खूप महाग, पण आम्ही क्वचित इथे येतो. त्यामुळे आज मेन्यूच्या उजव्या बाजूकडे न बघता ऑर्डर द्यायची असं ठरलं. जेवण झाल्यावर लगेच घरी जायला पाहिजे होतं. पण जेवताना माझा पाय टेबलाखाली बायकोच्या पायावर पडला.

‘तुझ्याकडे चांगले बूट आहेत की नाहीत?’ माझी सँडल फार लागली नसली तरी त्यामुळे तिला माझ्या बुटांची आठवण झाली.

‘आहेत ते ऑफिसचे काळे.’

‘आज घेतलेल्या त्या लिनेनच्या शर्टाखाली ते ऑफिशियल शूज चांगले दिसणार नाहीत. तुला नाहीतरी इनफॉर्मल शूजची गरज होती, आज घेऊन टाक. सगळीकडे हे सँडल घालून जातोस. चांगलं दिसत नाही.’

‘अग, मुंबईच्या हवेला हेच सोयीस्कर असतात.’ मी म्हणालो. मात्र मग क्लार्कचे शूज आणि दोन जोड्या घेतल्यावर तिसरी फुकट होती म्हणून मोज्यांच्या दोन जोड्या घेतल्या.  

‘ती आपण सिरॅमिक प्लेट घेतली ती ब्रेकेबल आहे का ग?’ मी विचारलं.

‘अर्थातच.’   

ती प्लेट ब्रेकेबल आहे हा विचार मला अस्वस्थ करत होता. कारण माझ्या डोळ्यांपुढे लग्नाचं दृश्य आलं. ताज हॉटेलमध्ये लगीनघाई, स्टेजवर अनेक लोक वधू वरांना भेटायला रांगा लावून उभे. माझ्या हातातली भेटवस्तू, मोठी, महाग, चांगली दोनशे रुपये देऊन पॅक केलेली, बघून महेश म्हणणार, अरे कशाला आणलीस, आहेर नको सांगितलं होतं. मग मी म्हणणार नाही रे हे केवळ टोकन म्हणून आहे. मग त्यात काय आहे हे माहिती नसल्यामुळे कोणीतरी ते पार्सल मागे फेकणार.

ही सगळी भीती मी बायकोला बोलून दाखवली.

‘लग्नात नक्की गळबटणार. एवढे लोक येतात. कुणाला कशाचा पत्ता नसतो. नंतर कुणी चोरून नेली तर तुझ्या ह्या मित्राला कळणार सुद्धा नाही.’

आम्ही फिनिक्स मॉलहून घरी पोचेस्तोवर मी ठरवलं होतं की आज संध्याकाळी महेशच्या घरी जाऊन भेट द्यायची. घरी द्यावी म्हणजे दिली हेही कळेल आणि सुरक्षितही राहील.

महेशचा पत्ता आमंत्रणपत्रिकेवर होताच. घराचा नंबर ४५०६ होता. त्या इमारतीच्या चौकीदाराने प्रश्न विचारले तेव्हा महेशचं घर पंचेचाळीसाव्या मजल्यावर असणार हे कळलं.

‘कृपा करून इंटरकॉमवर त्यांना फोन करू नका. त्याला सरप्राईज द्यायचं आहे.’ नशिबाने पत्त्यासाठी मी माझ्याबरोबर पत्रिका आणली होती. माझ्या बोलण्यावरून मी सभ्य माणूस असणार हे कळून चौकीदाराने फोन न करता मला सोडलं.

जिममध्ये सगळेजण टी-शर्ट आणि शॉर्ट घालून असतात, त्यामुळे कोण किती श्रीमंत (किंवा गरीब) आहे ते कळत नाही. महेशने घर उघडलं तेव्हा तो महाल वाटला. आत गेल्याबरोबर एका बाजूला अरेबियन समुद्राचं डोळे दिपवणारं दर्शन होतं. एवढ्या उंचीवर असल्यामुळे अख्खी मुंबईच जणू काही दिसत होती.

‘अरे, घरी आलास?’ नाईके शूज न घातलेला महेश पहिल्यांदीच पाहिला.  

‘रविवारी लग्नाला तुमची खूप गडबड असेल. त्यामुळे ही... हे... म्हटलं आज घरीच नेऊन द्यावं. त्यानिमित्ताने भेटही होईल तुझ्या घरच्यांची.’ मी सिरॅमिक प्लेटचं पार्सल त्याच्या हातात दिलं.  

‘अरे हे कशाला? आहेर नको म्हणून लिहिलं आहे.’

‘हे काही नाही... नुसतं टोकन आहे.’ म्हणून मी ते महेशच्या हातात कोंबलं. तो आत नोकराला पाणी आणायला सांगायला गेला तेव्हा मी ते पार्सल अलगद सोफ्यावर ठेवलं.

‘तू काय घेणार? चहा, कॉफी, ज्यूस. आज कुणीच घरी नाहीये. संयोगिता मैत्रिणींबरोबर बाहेर गेलीय. आशा पण खरेदीला गेलीय. रविवारीच लग्न आहे ना, त्यामुळे पळापळ चालू आहे.’ मी बसलो होतो, महेश उभाच होता.

‘नाही तुझी घाई असेल तर राहू दे, मी सहज आलो होतो. रविवारी आपली भेट होईलच.’ मी पाण्याचा ग्लास ठेवला आणि उभा राहिलो.

‘तुला कुठे सोडू का?’

मी नाही म्हटलं. महेश खूप चांगल्या कपड्यांत होता, आणि मी सँडल आणि माझ्या नेहमीच्या वापरातले विटके कपडे घालून आलो होतो.

दुसऱ्या दिवशी सकाळी मी नेहमीप्रमाणे जिममध्ये होतो. महेश दिसला नाही, माझी तशी अपेक्षाही नव्हती. दोन दिवसांनी मुलीचं लग्न असताना त्याने जिमला सुट्टी देणं स्वाभाविक होतं. फक्त तो आला असता तर कदाचित त्याने मुलीला आम्ही दिलेली सिरॅमिक प्लेट आवडली का नाही हे सांगितलं असतं.

नंतर ट्रेडमिलवर पळून झाल्यानंतर शरीराभोवती टॉवेल गुंडाळून मी रेस्टरूममध्ये बसलो होतो. अचानक मला कोपऱ्यातल्या टेबलावर पत्रिका दिसल्या. रिबन बांधलेल्या, वर गणपतीचं चित्र असलेल्या जाडजूड पत्रिकांचा एक जुडगा तिथे होता.  बाजूला जिमचे दोन ट्रेनर बसले होते.

‘ह्या पत्रिका इथे काय करताहेत?’ मी त्यांना विचारलं.

‘तो मेंबर येतो ना, काय रे नाव त्याचं, महेश ना, त्याने ठेवल्याहेत, जिममधल्या सगळ्यांना वाटायला सांगितल्या आहेत.’

‘अरे व्वा’ मी म्हणालो. ‘तुम्ही जाणार का?’

‘काय नाही. माझी काय तशी ओळख नाही. उगाच कुणी बोलावलं म्हणून आपण जात नाही.’ एक ट्रेनर म्हणाला.

‘अहो, हल्ली काय आहे माहिती आहे का? एक मेंबर मला सांगत होता.’ दुसरा ट्रेनर बोलता झाला. ‘मुंबईतले हे लग्नाचे मोठे हॉल असतात ना, त्यांना मिनिमम नंबरची गॅरंटी लागते. म्हणजे तुम्ही कमीत कमी दोन हजार लोकांचे पैसे भरायचे, मग दोन हजार लोक आले काय किंवा आठशे आले काय. मग हे ह्या मेंबरसारखे लोक खिरापतीसारख्या वाटायला लागतात पत्रिका, कारण तो नंबर व्हायला पाहिजे ना. हे सगळे उसने लोक त्या मोठ्या हॉटेलला जाणार, जेवणार, त्यांना वाटतं काय खर्च केलाय ह्या माणसाने आपल्यावर. पण ते खरं नसतं. ह्या नंबर बनवण्यासाठी बोलावलेल्या लोकांसाठी त्यांना एका दमडीचाही वेगळा खर्च येत नाही.

रवी 

Addas vs Electronic Screens

My father, Shankar Abhyankar (I call him baba) is 85.

Every morning, at 06.45, he goes to Shivaji Park. Shivaji Park is not exactly a park, it has just a little grass in the monsoon. Shivaji Park is circular, surrounded by a parapet for people to sit on. With a circumference of 1.2 km, two thousand people can sit on it at a time, and on weekends, nearly that many do. (See the clip). Baba meets his friends there. Each group has a historically earmarked place. They discuss anything and everything until they feel it’s time to go home. This is his morning adda.

The evening adda  

I sometimes take a morning walk at Shivaji Park, when I usually meet friends, familiar faces and soon-to-become friends. On one such morning, I met a couple of young boys. One of them I knew, and he introduced me to the other.

 “I am Ravi Abhyankar.” I shook his hand.

“Oh, do you know by any chance Shankar Abhyankar, the sitarist?” he asked me.

“As a matter of fact, I know him very well. He is my father. How do you know him?”

This boy must be about twenty-five.

“Your father and I are good friends. We drink together in the evenings.” The boy said.

Wrist and tongue workout  

This is baba’s evening adda. Its age range, as you may guess, is from 25 to 85. I am told the group gathers each evening at a bar. At the table, everyone has a glass in front of him. They talk and drink, drink and talk. The waiter keeps refilling. Whenever a person gets up, the waiter gives him his individual bill, which he pays off. I don’t know how long this tradition has been going on, but baba has been going to such an adda for the past thirty years. Obviously, some members pass away, and new members join. There is no way the twenty-five year old boy I met has been part of the group for long.

Conversation replay

Last month, on 13 April, I had thrown a party for my Moscow friends. Every time I visit Moscow, we have a meet-up. We talk, we eat and drink, we hug and kiss before parting for another year, until my next trip to Moscow.

I have similar gatherings, sometimes called reunions, with my school friends, college friends, relatives and ex-colleagues.

A few years ago, I bumped into a college classmate, A.S..

“I live just here. In that building. Come, come.” He fondly invited me to his house. We chatted for more than an hour. We recalled our classmates, one after the other, and shared whatever information we had on them. Some were successful CEOs, many had settled abroad, a couple had passed away.

Two years later, I happened to meet A.S. again at the same spot, and he invited me to his house again. After spending an hour there, an epiphany struck me. We had repeated our conversation from two years ago. Almost word for word. I decided not to visit him again and never have.

Electronic screens: man’s best friends

In the past, I would go to a travel agent to book my tickets. Mukesh, my neighborhood agent, knew everything about my family, and I knew about his. He started running after hearing about my marathons. I haven’t seen him for more than five years now.

Many years ago, I would visit my bank regularly. Take a token, wait in the queue, fill forms, and go to the teller. You talked to the other customers. You knew the bank staff personally, and they knew far more about you than just your bank balance. I don’t need to personally go to my bank any more.

I don’t visit bookstores any more. Not just books, Amazon delivers most things without me leaving my computer desk.

This internet magic results in a massive saving of time. One assumes we use this saved time to meet friends, spend more time with our families. But as technology makes our life more efficient, we seem to have less and less time. What happens to all the time that was saved?

The extra time is now devoted to electronic screens. Smartphones, tabs, Netflix, WhatsApp, Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, Twitter.

Electronic screens are now man’s best friends. People are seen typing in their Smartphone at the traffic light, or if desperate while driving. The young generation has its neck permanently bent down, and ears shut with white plugs.

Virtual can’t be reality

Technology has now allowed us to remain connected. If we are connected, why meet in person?

But technology has managed to capture only two of the five senses. What we see and what we hear can be recorded, but not smelt, tasted or touched. On SKYPE, the girl’s image at the other end may be of a very high resolution, you still can’t smell the perfume she is wearing. The deliciousness of the bright yellow Alphonso mangoes can’t be tasted on the screen. And touch, human touch, can’t be replicated on a screen of any size.

Human touch is known medically to have health benefits. Hugs increase the levels of oxytocin bringing blood pressure down. Kissing a child makes us happier, otherwise why would we do it? Even in conservative societies, handshakes are accepted.

If the virtual world could substitute reality, we could have simply watched different destinations on YouTube. Why travel to other countries and face the long flights, jet lag, packing, unpacking? Because what we experience in the real world simply can’t be compared to the video clips on internet.

But if we accept travel can’t be substituted by watching those destinations in films, how are we happy degrading our personal relationships and friendships to text messages? Why is the practice of a group of friends (or people drinking together) meeting daily getting outdated?

In 2016, I went to Moscow four times. As usual, I called a wholesale party of my friends in January. On my second visit in April, I discussed the idea of another party with two friends.

“But you had a party only in January. It is too soon. Nobody will come.” Both were convinced. That year I didn’t call another party.

Nostalgia meetings

Annual reunions are formula meetings usually for the sake of nostalgia. Rarely will they have intellectual arguments or passionate debates. Mostly, people will recall the past when they were together, if curious find out what the others do, and hasten back home because kids (or now grandkids) are waiting.

Some of my friends stay a few hundred meters from my house. I haven’t met many of them for more than a year. Because they have no time. (Why bother to meet when there is what’sApp?). How are some people short of time when everyone is given exactly 24 hours a day? Should I continue to call them friends? Or ex-friends?

Corporate adda vanishes

I believe that personal human interaction is one of the greatest sources of happiness. Just as we are expected to interact with our family on a daily basis, historically,  people would interact daily with their friends and neighbours.

Earlier the workplace allowed you to interact with your colleagues on a daily basis. In the early 1980s, I worked for A.F.Ferguson & Co., chartered accountants. We worked with pen and paper. The partners dictated the audit report to their secretaries, who typed them on  typewriters. We chatted almost all the time while working. This was the corporate adda, if you like. It also allowed you to ‘kill time’, a major requirement for an office worker.

In a similar office today, you would see most people wearing glasses while immersed in computer screens. The office is like a graveyard. Screens have conquered the workplace as well.

Adda: an ancient tradition   

Addas are informal voluntary personal gatherings, ideally on a daily basis, for intellectual discussions. In ancient Greece, Socrates and Plato created their deep philosophical arguments through such dialogues.

In India, Bengal and Maharashtra are considered among the top cultural states. They have produced some of India’s greatest authors, singers, composers, musicians. Theatre is strong in both the states. Bengal and Maharashtra are the only two states that produce special Diwali magazines. But also, the adda culture is best developed in them. Bengal was a communist state, so Bengalis argued much and had no shortage of time. But Maharashtra is not far behind either.

The ultimate aim of life is happiness. Money and work satisfaction may be priorities for some, but if they don’t lead to happiness then what’s the point?

Having a group of friends whom you meet every day and talk to intellectually without an agenda seems like a simple recipe for happiness. My father is living proof of this. It is my dream to form a similar adda for myself. Possibly in this city of 20 million, I may be able to find five or six people who prefer real humans to electronic screens.

Ravi