Corona Daily 198: The Paranoid Grandpa in the Bunker

Try to go to Google images and search for Vladimir Putin in a mask. Can’t find it?  Because he has never worn one. No doubt a mask would dilute Putin’s manliness. Trump, Bolsonaro, Lukashenka, Johnson and several other alpha males tried not to wear masks and duly got infected. Putin has managed to stay corona-free. How? By going into isolation since last March. Except a single state television reporter who interviewed him in August, no journalist has met him face-to-face.

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Inevitably, Putin had to appear outdoors for the May day parade which happened on 24 June. The World War II veterans whom he would meet had to spend two weeks in quarantine at an isolated health resort. ‘We were bored, sat around and breathed the air’, said Lev Litvinov, a 100-year-old veteran.

Dmitry Peskov is Putin’s spokesman, whose job is to lie with a straight face. ‘This was about the veterans’ health; it was to protect them.’ said Peskov.

Since March, though, anyone wanting to meet Putin must first quarantine for two weeks. Putin has several residences, mainly Novo-Ogaryovo, the presidential estate outside Moscow, and Bocharov Ruchey, a presidential retreat in the Black sea city of Sochi. Since March, two large health resorts in Sochi have been exclusively reserved for people to quarantine for two weeks before meeting Putin.

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Moscow is the nerve center of Russia, and Putin is expected to be there to govern the country in these difficult times. But Putin loves to be in Sochi. Weather is much better, atmosphere relaxed, and in the unlikely event of a coup, he will be away from danger.

How to have your cake and eat it too? Well, Putin has created a twin conference room in Sochi identical to the one in Novo-Ogaryovo residence. The beige chairs, wallpapers, telephones, a Dell computer screen, Russian flags. In both places, there are microphones on Putin’s desk. Whenever he has videoconferences, Moscow people are happy to feel their president’s proximity. In reality, he is in Sochi.

Peskov said the president’s work spaces outside Moscow and in Sochi are not identical. The president has no identical offices. When the investigative reporters pointed out that the presidential planes are located in Sochi, Peskov said Presidential planes can be based outside Moscow. When he was probed about the flight records for the presidential plane flying from St Petersburg (which Putin had visited) to Sochi, Peskov said the flight movements were classified information which he couldn’t discuss.

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Three disinfection tunnels have been installed, one for Kremlin, and two for Putin’s two residences. These are Russian-made tunnels that look like the giant scanning machines at the airport. Walking through the tunnel feels and smells like passing through a cloud of pool-water mist.

To meet Putin even for five minutes, a person must first quarantine in the prescribed hotel for two weeks, and then walk through the disinfection tunnel.

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Putin’s paranoia is not pandemic-born, it has just become worse. A couple of years ago, at the G20 summit in Japan, while everyone else drank from wine glasses, Putin used the mug he was carrying from Russia.

“This is because he is constantly drinking tea from that Thermos.” Said Peskov when asked to explain this strange episode.

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Russia recently admitted the real covid toll is three times the official statistics, which would bring Russia to a third place in terms of covid deaths. The deaths are suppressed by a Russian regulation that puts covid as the cause of death only where an autopsy confirms presence of the virus. Putin knows the true picture. He also knows how reliable the Russian vaccine, Sputnik, is. Putin has not taken the vaccine, nor has he shown any inclination to. His age group (60+) is eligible since 26 December.

“As to whether he will take the vaccine, and if he does whether he will take it in front of the cameras, you should ask the president.” Said Peskov.

But then, to ask, a journalist may need to quarantine for two weeks and then go through the disinfection tunnel.

Ravi